6 Automotive Habits to Kick. Right Now.

"Mailbox Cancer" (mailboxcancer) 09/05/2013 at 14:26 • Filed to: 6 Ways, Lists, MBCX

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Nobody's perfect. We all have ticks and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that slowly whittle down our ability to live our lives in relative sanity and cleanliness. You can identify a good friend by their willingness to simply make you aware of your awful, asinine shortcomings – especially when it comes to your car. Well friendo, I've got a list for ya ... let's start with an easy one.

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(1) Smoking In Your Car

I'm not going to stoop to the level of telling you what you can and cannot do in your car. Your personal (cash-paid, financed, leased, stolen "borrowed", whatever) property is your sanctuary. But let's be honest: your friends/family/co-workers/boss/prostitutes hate riding with you. Every surface feels like it was wiped down in diluted Vermont Grade B maple syrup, and the sagging nicotine-crusted headliner that gently caresses your forehead as it flaps in the wind is unappetizing to say the least. And doing your best impression of Rollin' Coal in your '92 Camry by rolling the windows down doesn't help either ... that shit permeates everything.

Retain your resale value and save yourself a lifetime of harassment. When it comes time to light up, do it outside your car to nurse your deliciously deadly habit.

(2) Eating In Your Car

Trips to your favorite minimum-wage drive through tends to stack up, and so does the odor of eventually rancid fry oil and crumbs of god-knows-what ground into the carpets. And even if your favorite produce guy at the local co-op got you to commit to an all-kale diet, eating that shit in your car still invites the possibility of food particles piling up in your once-new ride. Before long, you'll have 20 half-eaten french fries (or kale chips), countless straw wrappers, paper bags, crumpled receipts, pools of coffee, and so on under your seats.

Grab a bottle of water and enjoy that as the solitary consumable item in your car, and proceed to eat your fast-food meals while leaning up against the rear quarter panel outside. You'll keep your car cleaner than you'll ever believe.

(3) "Forgetting" to Use Your Turn Signal

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! when you lazily disregard your turning indicator. That's just for starters. Not only are you required by law to use it when changing lanes or turning on a street, it just makes logical sense out of the horrifically chaotic mess we know as "traffic". It simply lets other motorists and pedestrians in on your directional intentions. When you don't use it, and expect others to know exactly where you're going– even when it appears obvious to you –you put yourself and others in danger beyond looking like an immature, inexperienced, concern-me-not driver. Move your finger the 1-3 inches to operate the indicator stalk, and we'll all get along just great.

(4) Parking in 2 Or More Spaces

This habit baffles me, although it's not necessarily breaking any laws (maybe some private lots will have you towed, just depends where you are) parking in more than the single designated space for a motor vehicle makes you look either (a) incompetent at operating a motor vehicle, (b) a complete self-centered asshole, or (c) deservedly both.

Your dually has a tire or two just edged over the line? Forgivable, but try to park a little better next time (please). Your 458 is spanning a couple spaces in a nearly empty parking lot? Sure, most can understand that. But your GTI diagonally parked across 2 spaces in a PACKED lot? You deserve to be served with divorce papers once or twice in your lifetime.

(5) Using the Left Lane as Your Personal HOV Artery

I don't understand. You're the kind of person that HATES it when people camp out in the left lane because it's unsafe to pass on the right, maintaining " the left lane is for passing ONLY, you scum!" Yet you set your cruise to 20+ over the posted limit and camp out there yourself, defending your actions " but I'm technically passing everybody!"

You dolt. The left lane is not your personal autobahn. And unless you're Sabine Schmitz, you're gonna roll your ride from the panic of quickly attempting to avoid the Subaru suddenly grabbing the left lane to pass the slightly slower trailer in front of it. Just follow (not aggressively push ) the flow of traffic, pass on the left like everyone else, and be content with getting to your destination whenever you happen to arrive. Be safe out there and you'll likely remain accident/death-free.

(6) Letting Your Phone Conversation Take Priority Over Driving

There's a good chance that you're actually very skilled at doing both: talking and driving. We all have done it, and we're probably all still alive despite doing it, but we all know of those individuals who are clearly not as skilled ... even if using a hands-free device. And you know how to identify them on the road:

– Swerving from side to side in their lane

– Speeding excessively / Remarkably slow

– Head cocked to the left to hold phone between ear and shoulder (eyes not level to road)

– Unexpected or sharp lane changes

– Unresponsive to sirens, horns, etc.

– Stuck/forgotten blinking turning indicator

– Waving arms, gesturing, burying face in hands, etc.

If you're one of these people, you need to leave the Jitterbug at home. If you can really only handle one thing at a time, that's okay – but you need to know which things you can handle and the others you clearly cannot. When you are truly honest with yourself and you find you are this particular offender time and time again ... well, maybe it's time to start taking the bus. For everyone's sake, cut this shit out.

Welcome back to another MBCX list, where a complete stranger points out your personal flaws, failings, and shortcomings with frightening specificity and relevancy. He fronts as a friendly list maker for an online automotive blog community, but in reality follows you home every night, noting in painstaking detail your driving habits and preferred route. Don't open your mailbox.

GhostZ > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:29

1

I was thinking this would be about buying decisions, modifications, trends, or couch-racing. Nope. It's a list of things I am proud that I do not do. In a few scenarios I've been forced to sit and wait for people to finish their food from a fast food place because they wanted me to pick them up and thought I would let them eat in the car.

Haha. No. Fuck that. I barely tolerate dirty shoes, and that's only because of good rubber floor mats. It's not that I am obsessively clean, the car collects its own dirt, it's just that I want people to respect my vehicle and myself when they get in it and treat it with as much care as I do.

My sister would fill her car up with crap she was too lazy to move out. She drove thousands of miles (almost a year) with campfire logs in the trunk because she didn't take the time to remove them. If I recall correctly she ended up having them go rotten in her trunk out of sheer negligence. I don't understand people sometimes.

pdthedeuce > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:29

5

it amazes me how many people can't be bothered to use turn signals , considering how many bad situations can be avoided with their use .

Mailbox Cancer > pdthedeuce 09/05/2013 at 14:32

3

Yup. It's such a simple thing to do, yet is completely ignored by entire metro areas. DC, I'm lookin' at YOU.

Party-vi > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:32

4

Hooray I'm clean!

Mailbox Cancer > GhostZ 09/05/2013 at 14:33

0

Buying Decisions and Trends are coming ... surely I can't hack this list up into 6923 reasons right off the bat.

HammerheadFistpunch > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:34

0

"Your dually has a tire or two just edged over the line? Forgivable, but try to park a little better next time (please). Your 458 is spanning a couple spaces in a nearly empty parking lot? Sure, most can understand that. But your GTI diagonally parked across 2 spaces in a PACKED lot? You deserve to be served with divorce papers once or twice in your lifetime."

These are fairly solid criteria. Doesn't preclude the odd event where its okay, but puts the hammer down where its clearly not.

Mailbox Cancer > Party-vi 09/05/2013 at 14:35

1

Yes, but are you a turning indicator violator? ARE YOU?! HUH?!

Casper > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:36

8

Sweet, I don't have any of those bad habits... and if someone smoked in my car they would be dead before their second puff.

My bad habit would caring what other drivers do. I don't drive fast or dangerous, but I HATE it when people creep away from stop signs, come to nearly a complete stop to turn into a driveway, or are indecisive about making a lane change, or brake all the way through a corner into a straight away. This results in burning many years off of my life by stressing out about other peoples poor driving.

CalzoneGolem > pdthedeuce 09/05/2013 at 14:38

0

My right rear blinker bulb burnt out while I was living in MA. I didn't realize what had gone wrong just that my blinker was now faster on one side. I went for weeks and was only honked at once.

Mailbox Cancer > HammerheadFistpunch 09/05/2013 at 14:38

0

Well, especially when and where it's a goddamned circus and the parking lot is full. The dick in the Wrangler is usually the asshole who decides to put 2 entire tires over the line making it impossible for you to squeeze out of your car in the attempt of trying to fit in the spot. Instead, they're made to go park in the grass 30 football fields away. *sigh*

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:39

1

Also, paying more attention to in-car conversations with passengers than actually driving.

Mailbox Cancer > Casper 09/05/2013 at 14:40

3

I like the idea of a switch that deploys the passenger airbag. You don't even have to say a word.

Mailbox Cancer > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager 09/05/2013 at 14:41

2

Numbero 7, Se๑or.

Tom McParland > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:42

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I agree with you on everything except number 4. Now this is a rare and special instance but should be taken into consideration. Because I believe the note I got was from someone who thinking along these lines.

Let me set the scene for you...after my wife's appointment we go visit a friend who works at nearby hospital. When we go to park all 20 handicapped spaces are occupied (some of which by cars with no handicapped plates or placards BTW). So we employ our usual strategy and "asshat" park diagonally across two spaces at the end of the lot so my wife can safely deploy her ramp and exit the car. We get back and this is the note on the windshield. Now had I been driving a BMW, with no handicapped plates, taking up prime parking real-estate, fine. But we where at the end of the lot, with plenty of open spaces, in a converted ramp minivan, with a goddamn sticker that says "Ramp access vehicle please leave room!" And I'm the dick???...oh and do you even grammar bro?

I know the answer by some is I could have let my wife out and moved the car back into a regular space. But what if she was driving, should she flag down a stranger to move her car?

Ferrero1911 > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:44

3

Although I am sure I could talk on the phone and drive at the same time without compromising anyone's safety, I never do it. The reason? I'm probably wrong about my own ability to multi task. I bet all the talking while driving offenders think they drive perfectly while on the phone, and they clearly don't. Also it is illegal to not use a hands free device here. It's an easy law to follow. If I need to answer an email or text I can pull over. I might read a text real quick at a stop light, but never while moving (even a little bit). Driving a car is a responsibility I take very seriously.

Great list!

Mailbox Cancer > Ferrero1911 09/05/2013 at 14:48

0

This.

Proud of you. <3

Ferrero1911 > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 14:50

8

That story upsets me. People have handicapped plates for a reason. I think all cities should have a hotline for reporting cars illegally parked in handicapped spaces. I would report every last one, they should get towed too, not just a ticket.

hollanddjw 1 > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:50

3

This post makes me think of how much better behaved German drivers are. They are either very passive (and thus, doing the speed limit) and will gladly oblige anyone in the left lane by getting over as quickly as reasonably possible, or are aggressive, but still pay very good attention to the conditions of weather and traffic (barring trucks and 4-cylinder diesel vans that try to pass one another).

Also, there are ~0 cops on the 4-lane divided highway that makes up most of my commute now.

Also I saw a Scuderia today.

Tom McParland > Ferrero1911 09/05/2013 at 14:52

10

The other problem is doctors write handicapped plate scripts like it's no big deal so you also have a lot of folks with plates taking up spaces that really don't need them...And don't get me started on the "grandma died so know we get great parking crew."

Mailbox Cancer > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 14:52

3

I believe this is one of the one-and-a-half exceptions out there for number 4. But you gotta admit, there are idiots out there (with no need for a ramp, etc.) who simply think they own the lot and can park however the hell they want.

OVER THE LINE.

Party-vi > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:54

19

Nope. And I drive a BMW.

Tom McParland > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 14:56

1

Oh totally agree, I see it a lot but most of the time, in my area, it is a large lot and those cars are at the end with no one around them...to me that is fine. If you want to park waaay out not near anyone so no one touches your Hyundai Genesis fine. My issue is that this type of hatred towards the double-line park jobs has resulted in some dirty looks and snide comments towards me and my wife. Which is not cool, because in reality it's not that big of a deal. There are other spots.

Sethersm > CalzoneGolem 09/05/2013 at 14:57

1

'Twould be nice if more people would give a friendly "hey, ya got a light out, thought you might want to know" in a parking lot. I try to do it, but get frustrated by the number of people who don't seem to care.

Along those lines, I once owned a 1978 suburban with a bent rear axle. Following it down the road, the left rear wobbled as if it were about to come off. It wasn't, numerous mechanics noted it and didn't raise any alarms. In the 5 years I drove that vehicle only once, did someone random give me a heads up that something might be wrong.

Mailbox Cancer > hollanddjw 1 09/05/2013 at 14:58

1

I've had very little experience with German drivers (spent a little time in a Netherlands town right by the German border, so maybe that counts a tiny bit), but I'm very impressed with the COLLECTED and MATURE nature of their driving habits. Sensible, mostly polite, observant, and cautious without being timid. Probably a result of such a high age of drivers license eligibility and increased drivers education/training standards.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Party-vi 09/05/2013 at 14:59

2

No such thing as a BMW driver that doesn't break one of these things.

impossible.

Mailbox Cancer > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:01

2

Nah, not that big of a deal. Plus, you're an exceptional and dedicated husband, at least from what I can tell in words on an enthusiast website. Keep being awesome.

Mailbox Cancer > Party-vi 09/05/2013 at 15:02

0

Holy fuck, this gif makes me so happy.

Ferrero1911 > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:05

0

And then there's this lady. There was a handicapped hang tag on the mirror, but I'm not so sure she should have been driving.

Party-vi > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 09/05/2013 at 15:06

2

Well I do smoke but it's hard to hold a cigar AND drive like a prick so I don't smoke and drive.

Party-vi > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:09

0

Use it wisely. Or, you know, don't.

hollanddjw 1 > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:13

0

They are also VERY observant of the right-of-way (especially coming from the States). I'm not entirely sure how most Americans would cope (if they could) with all the yield signs and priority roads...

I wouldn't REALLY attribute it to age, though, unless we're comparing them to Kansas. Their youngest drivers (of cars) are usually only a year or two older than Americans. I will agree with you on the point of cost/rigor of training, however; to get my license, I only had to drive for 5 (?) hours with an instructor, and 10 day/10 night hours with someone over 18.

(EDIT: and pass a written test going over German road rules and signage with an 85% or higher)

Mailbox Cancer > CalzoneGolem 09/05/2013 at 15:23

0

Heh, Massholes. Not using a blinker is standard fare in large parts of New England from my experience.

Brian, The Life of > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:26

2

Can I please add a #7?

"Taking 1/2 mile to change lanes" - We've all been there. The droid in front of us signals a lane change (at least they're signalling, though). There is plenty of space to move over. They check their mirrors, look over their shoulder, think about something unrelated, check mirrors and over their shoulder again. A quarter mile has passed and they haven't actually moved over yet. The courteous drivers around them are holding the space open ... waiting. Then they spend the next quarter mile s-l-o-w-l-y moving over.

Negative bonus points for the dreaded "I'm changing lanes so I better brake for no reason" add-on.

KirkyV > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:29

3

As my car doesn't have a passenger airbag, I tend to deal with these situations by crashing into the nearest tree.

Speedmonkey > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:29

0

1 to 3 - Oops

4 to 6 - all fine

Mailbox Cancer > KirkyV 09/05/2013 at 15:30

0

This works just fine as well.

Dolemite > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:32

0

I've integrated using a turn signal into the very core of my being! Like, I'm in a Walmart parking lot, 3 am, no one around for miles, and here comes the turn signal without thinking about it, and I feel stupid.

Eric Leonard > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:32

0

Even bottled water isn't safe if you listen to the crap posts floating around social media. IT WILL CAUSE CANCER, AND YOU WILL DIE A FIERY DEATH!!!!!!!!!!

Mailbox Cancer > Speedmonkey 09/05/2013 at 15:33

1

If you're avoiding 4 through 6 and just aware/improving-on 1 through 3, you're probably in the better half of the offenders.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:33

2

This note needs context. Was the writer giving you an A Dick? Or was he returning the A Dick which belonged to you? If it wasn't in the context of a presentation, then this sentence fragment needs to be expanded upon. Example: "Your A Dick was left in the parking lot today." See? Now the note makes more sense.

(Grammar Naziism is the lowest common denominator of retorts, I know. But it still felt so right.)

StewMM > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:33

0

But smoking...

KirkyV > Brian, The Life of 09/05/2013 at 15:34

1

I'm with you, but I'll generally take your average shambolic lane changer over the alternative. I know this guy who nearly flips his damn car every time he switches.

steve62 > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:34

0

E cigs in the car are great, no smell no ashes no burnt upholstery

R W > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:34

0

using your brakes on the highway unless totally necessary.

braking a lot is the sign of a terrible driver.

Voice of C. Montgomery Burns > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:34

0

If you smoke or have friends that smoke and you want to be cool about it, you could just roll down the windows ...

jedimario > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:34

0

1 & 2 are your business and yours alone, unless for some reason you regularly have no choice but to let others ride with you. How often does that happen? If someone wants to smoke in their car, eat in it, and generally trash it, I say go for it. I gave up on trying to talk others out of being pigs long ago. If it really bothers you that much, drive separate. We have a smoker in our lunch posse at work and he typically drives by himself and lights up in the car and NO ONE cares. There would be problems if we all tried to get him to stop smoking in his car.

Mr-Clutch > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:35

0

Rule number one, unless it's a girl I am trying to get in her pants she can smoke. But everyone else and once I get in said pants are not allowed to smoke in my car.

Rule number two, not even chewing gum bottles only and take your empty with you. I have reversed and threw an empty bottle at someone who left it in my car once.

Mailbox Cancer > Eric Leonard 09/05/2013 at 15:35

0

I heard that too a while back. Apparently they find leaving the bottled water IN THE SUN for a couple days allows chemicals in the plastic to infiltrate the water, blah blah blah. I'd say still do it, but get a new bottle after you're done drinking.

rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:35

0

Question re turn signal use:

You are exiting a limited-access road like an interstate highway. Turn signal required to move from traffic lane to exit ramp? Is there a law or etiquette on this? Is it different if the lane is exit only?

I ask because I don't generally signal exits from the highway, but my wife (who is from Australia) mentioned the other day that she always does.

If I'm going to be a dick, I'd at least like to know about it.

BigHairDon'tCare > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:37

1

You're*

You're welcome. ;-)

Niquemarshall > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:37

1

I love the misuse of "your" even better.

nohum > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:38

0

I can deal with a someone smoking in their car. its theirs and as long as the butt ends up in the ash-tray and not being littered, I could care less. the rest of the list can be dangerous(not signaling) or distracting(eating, phone use, etc.) just don't try smoking in my car unless I'm drunk and you're the nice young lady taking me home that night.

Nick Walker > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:39

0

I'm calling total BS on number 5. Left lane cruising is as much for staying out of the clutter of merging as it is about passing. Thats why I stay in the left lane unless I'm exiting the road, in addition to the fact that I like to get places as as fast as I feel I can get away with... yea I know, call me a speeding douche if you want. But going 65mph in the middle lane only serves to waste more of your time than doing 75-85mph in the left lane.... it usually isn't any safer going 65 either, our highway speed limits are based around the technical capabilities of cars that are now decades old.

The Autobahn has it right, in safe, open areas, you should be able to go as fast as you think you safely can go. And when there is a speed limit, it is the realistic 75-85mph that people actually drive.... not a beyond idiotic 55 or 65. Also, regarding the lanes, the Autobahn treats the left lane as the fast lane, middle lane as the cruising lane, and the right lane as the slow/exiting lane..... that is how roads actually work, and the whole idea that Americans keep trying to make it a passing lane is just retarded and useless.

Stupidity should not be obeyed. And that is why I don't, in favor of pushing the envelope of the law's tolerance. I'm not some idiot cruising at 100mph, but I regularly set my cruise control at 79mph... as should everyone.

Stradale > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:39

1

#1 and #2, seriously? It's their car, wtf? Don't like it don't ride with them, it's pretty simple. Most people who like cars don't do this anyways. Is this even an article?

Mailbox Cancer > rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S 09/05/2013 at 15:39

2

OOO, I know this one. I'll try and find a link to back it up:

In the 3 or so states I've lived in, it's IN WRITING that you need to signal your direction, even when your trajectory is obvious ... then they give the example of signaling for an exit ramp, and leaving it on all the way up until the physical exit sign.

Practically, this shows motorists that there is 0% chance that you're actually biding your time to lunge over to the left since you accidentally got in the exit lane. I'd say if this is your ONLY exception to using it, it's forgivable ... I just prefer to be so conspicuous about my intentions when others are around me especially.

klurejr > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:40

2

Number 5

I don't understand. You're the kind of person that HATES it when people camp out in the left lane because it's unsafe to pass on the right, maintaining " the left lane is for passing ONLY, you scum!" Yet you set your cruise to 20+ over the posted limit and camp out there yourself, defending your actions " but I'm technically passing everybody!"

Sorry to inform you, but on most major freeways in the US the left lane is NOT only for passing. I see nothing wrong with traveling above the posted speed limit when it is safe to do so(we all know that most posted limits are waaay too low anyway).

As long as people in the number 1 lane are being safe there is no reason they should not go fast.

Why does this bother you so much? If you don't want to drive fast, don't, just stay out of the way of people who do want to drive fast and let the Highway Patrol do the work of policing.

So, lets replace number 5 with people who refuse to use turn outs on small 2 lane roads. Now that law actually states that you MUST use a turn out if you are holding up traffic, yet I seem to find that people always choose winding mountain roads to drive at or under the speed limit and never use the turn out while 10-20 cars stack up behind them. Now that is something you can rant about.

Tom McParland > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:41

1

Appreciate the kind words, though I dunno if I'm that dedicated. After all I spend a lot of time here checking out the ladies...you know the

Italians

Germans

Asians

:D...anyway keep up these posts! Funny stuff.

Mailbox Cancer > Stradale 09/05/2013 at 15:42

0

IS THIS EVEN A COMMENT BRO?

It's their car, but it's a habit. Like I mentioned, it's totally YOUR vehicle, but some people are okay with riding in stank and grime, while others are overly aware of it. Pick your flavor. Otherwise, people tend to keep the cars cleaner (read: protected resale value) when they aren't doing #1 and #2 all the time. Small potatoes compared to the rest of the list, really.

mcseanerson > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:42

0

I'm trying to cut back on #2 but I commute 150 miles and drive 3 hours a day. #5 is also an issue with congestion because once I leave the passing lane I'm behind slower drivers eventually and the gap to pass is gone.

Baskingshark > klurejr 09/05/2013 at 15:42

0

Yes, as a Californian I live in the number 1 lane aka "the fast lane"

v8corvairpickup > rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S 09/05/2013 at 15:43

0

In 1993 I received a failure to signal ticket at an off ramp. The Massachusetts State Police trooper had the courtesy to not use his signals after he drove away. I was not happy but my then wife convinced me not to fight the ticket for $15.

OhDirka > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:43

1

So I totally agree with your reasoning, and yes, you were in the back of a lot so I totally understand. But then you have the people that park in handicapped places like asshats. I understand you need to have a closer spot but do they not have to park in the lines? This drives me crazy because in my eyes, if you can't park in a designated spot within the lines (maybe a little over) then you dont really need to be driving. I see cars parked all sorts a messed up like Ferraro1911's picture, if you have to park like that then you dont need to be driving in my opinion.

Mailbox Cancer > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:43

1

I'm sure if you're catering to your wife's very REAL needs, she'll allow your prying eyes to sample the Miura from time to time.

MJMcG > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:44

2

I remember a Range rover parked in a disabled space in a mall near me. No permits or any infirm passengers in sight.

There is a very simple solution for this. Tow the car to a "Special Spot" in the middle of the carpark. This "Special Spot" has adjustable bollards, which automatically adjust to within 5mm of you car's width. You then have to drive out of your space, ruining your car's bodywork. You will have done it. To your car.

rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:44

0

Thanks! I wonder where compliance is on this part of turn signal use - I'd wager a lot lower than even regular old "everyone else can read minds" lane changing and turning failures.

Diesel > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:45

4

I want to put this note on everyone's car that is using the phone while driving.

Mike_Smith > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager 09/05/2013 at 15:45

2

Don't make me reach back there...!

Mailbox Cancer > mcseanerson 09/05/2013 at 15:45

0

I hear ya, and hell: I'm not even a perfect example of following this list. All I know is you're trying, and that's certainly good enough.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:45

0

The "Grandma Died Crew" is just barely ahead of the "I Drive Grandpa Once A Month, So The Placard Stays In My Car Squad".

Fun fact, though, in MI, those placards are registered to an owner. If they are in use in a vehicle but the actual owner of the placard is neither a driver nor passenger in the car at that time (i.e. during that trip) the owner of the vehicle will be fined upwards of $500 and receive 30 days in jail , and the placard will be invalidated (until such a time that the original placard holder reapplies with documentation from their physician). Same goes for using stolen, cancelled, and placards of deceased family members. While the instance I described would require a Parking and Code Enforcement officer to actually witness, intervene, and issue a citation on the spot, sometimes lightening strikes and magic actually happens. I saw it in person once, at a movie theater. 2 women and 6 rowdy kids, no one with disabilities. They argued with the PACE officer at first, but when neither person could provide a driver's license which matched the number on the placard, they received a citation and the placard was confiscated. That day I realized that justice was, in fact, real. As far as those who would use ill-gotten placards, it routinely led to towing, impound fees, and fines. I wonder if anyone ever actually served jail time for this?

dean_acheson > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:46

2

I'm not sure what the last sentence meant, but I agree with the rest of it. I can't tell you how irritated I am when somebody pops out of a car with a "handicapped" window sticker and be-bops into the store. Ugh.

dal20402 > klurejr 09/05/2013 at 15:47

0

In most states, the law requires you to keep right on a multi-lane highway except when passing. Not often enforced, but it is the law.

Tom McParland > dean_acheson 09/05/2013 at 15:47

0

The last sentence is in reference to kids, often college age, parking in handicapped spaces with their brand new whatevers because they "inherited" a handicapped placard from granny when she passed.

hummer4douche > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:48

0

I'd like to add, "Driving in the HOV lane with only 1 person in the car." Aside from the obvious illegality of it, you're just a dick. There are not enough tickets in the world for people like you. (Why are 99% of them Cavaliers/Sunfires?)

dal20402 > Nick Walker 09/05/2013 at 15:48

0

Go actually drive on the autobahn and you will see that everyone keeps right when possible, except possibly the people doing 180 mph. The left lane is not the "fast lane," it's the passing lane.

Mailbox Cancer > rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S 09/05/2013 at 15:49

0

Man, I have no clue. All I know is people either (a) tend to use them everywhere, even when turning into their own garage from their elbow-shaped driveway, or (b) don't use them at all. You probably fit into a much smaller category where it feels appropriate in some instances, but in others you're not quite as sure. Hell, I'm not so sure most of the time, but I try and use it anyway ... let's call it a good habit. *Bites nails*

hummer4douche > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:50

2

In your case, I would 100% endorse double spot parking. (Anyone without handicapped plates are total dicks though. If you're going to take up two spots, you'd better park way out in the back of the lot)

ejp > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:51

0

Maybe the #4 post wasn't about you, Automach. There are exceptions to every rule, but I think that the general message is that we should all go out of our way not to be douches (or park like one) when possible.

Similarly, don't run lights or swerve through traffic...unless your wife is in labor. :)

Mailbox Cancer > Diesel 09/05/2013 at 15:51

0

There's also the option of throwing a rusted pitchfork under their wheels on the interstate, but I trust that option is looked down upon.

CalzoneGolem > Sethersm 09/05/2013 at 15:52

0

In MA it was different than it is in ME. Here people have told me my tire is low and that lights didn't work. I once told a guy that one of his headlights didn't work and he almost took a swing at me.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > Mike_Smith 09/05/2013 at 15:53

0

Indeed hahaha.

Your comment was grayed out, so I assume you don't have authorship status yet. I could ask the admins to grant it so you can post on Oppo, if you'd like.

Mailbox Cancer > hummer4douche 09/05/2013 at 15:53

0

Also, 100% of those rusted, dirty-burning Cavaliers and Sunfires are parked in people's yards (not driveways) at night. If you're an asshole, why not go all out?

dean_acheson > R W 09/05/2013 at 15:53

0

Really? Occasionally with bad tailgater, I will constantly tap my brakes, not enough to engage the brakes, but enough to engage the brake-lights, while using the right foot on the accelerator. I figured where the sweet spot was sitting in the garage for the brake lights to light up. I've found this cures the problem. just drive along tap-tap-taping the brake pedal if the person behind you is too close to see their grill, and after a bit, those bright red flashing lights will cause them to back off. Now, this might not be great etiquette, but if you can't go any faster since you are behind somebody else on a 45ish MPH road, it's not a bad trick. Besides, that jerk behind you, that's shoved up your tailpipe and yammering away on the phone, and has bent up fenders, probably doesn't have any insurance either, so screw him/her.

CalzoneGolem > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:53

0

Mainers seem better at it, but there is far less lane changing going on so far less blinker incidents. I've always said that Mainers seem to be trying to eventually get somewhere and Massholes want to get somewhere before you.

Diesel > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:53

2

I also ride motorcycles. I should start carrying a samurai sword and slashing offender's tires.

Mailbox Cancer > StewMM 09/05/2013 at 15:54

0

Weeeellll technically this is smoking OUTSIDE of the car. This is clearly a pass.

ChubbsMotolo > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:55

0

I disagree with #2. If you're on a road trip 800 miles from where you are, and you get stuck in heavy traffic due to a rolled over tractor-trailer, and you need to make it to your destination before midnight, you really have no choice but to eat and piss in the car. Obviously you piss in a large, sealable jug, and you do your best not to let shit accumulate in your car. But if me and my buddies didn't do those extreme things, we never would've made it to our friend's graduation of basic training. I think being a good friend is worth a messy car. And really, if someone can't take the responsibility to clean your own car every so often, well that's their problem not mine. I hate when people treat their cars like it's a frigging fragile, delicate flower, that if it is no longer 100% pristine, what's the point in living. Sometimes they get dinged up, sometimes they get scratched. The, "Oh, my pickup has some dents in the bed? Better buy a new truck!" mentality is so stupid. A pickup truck is meant to be used. Same with a car. Nothing is perfect forever, and so what if something falls off? It's annoying, sure, but I'd rather drive a Frankenstein-mobile, with switches from a boat here, or a motorcycle there, than I would buy a new car. I believe in running a car until it dies. And I do my best to keep it good, while it lasts.

Atomic Buffalo > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:55

3

Rule Zero: Don't Drive Angry.

Seriously. Zen your shit and stop paying road rage forward. Four of the six items above are often instigated by somebody else's prior dick move.

dean_acheson > Tom McParland 09/05/2013 at 15:55

0

10-4 on that then! I see lots of spouses using it, or I assume it's a spouse, since they are older but seem to walk perfectly fine.

Jartosz > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:56

0

I agree, eating and phone use are seriously irritating, as is the lack of turn signal use.

Personally, I'd also add, using non-passing lane for passing. Nothing annoys me like seeing some douchebag driving his modified 1994 rust bucket Jetta sounding like it doesn't have a Muffler in the slow lane on the right side.

Shaving in the car or applying make up is also a terrible thing to do.

Mailbox Cancer > Diesel 09/05/2013 at 15:56

0

Well – you being a motorcyclist ESPECIALLY need to be on your best behavior. Otherwise, wielding a sword adds to the general awful-person-on-a-bike stereotype.

mrbaits > Ferrero1911 09/05/2013 at 15:56

1

I felt guilty after eyeballing the silver malibu with no handicap plate or marker that was parking in a handicap space when the mom got out her son's wheelchair and helped him into it. You can't always tell who deserves to be parking there and who does not. On the flip side of that story, I see cars with handicap markers park in handicap spaces but with the car's only occupant somehow managing to walk easily away from it after getting out, apparently the marker was for someone else but that person decided to take unfair advantage of it.

Stradale > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:56

2

So they need to kick their habits because people don't like riding in THEIR OWN car? lol. Yes that was a comment BRO.

Tom McParland > ejp 09/05/2013 at 15:57

1

I understand that...but perpetuating this double-park Nazism amongst the masses is why I got that note in the first place. Yes double parking is stupid, yes you look like an ass...but at the end of the day is anyone really that put-out?

Jartosz > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:57

0

...

Tom McParland > dean_acheson 09/05/2013 at 15:58

0

Yeah if I am driving her van and she is not with me I park in regular spots.

Mailbox Cancer > Stradale 09/05/2013 at 15:58

0

Meh, I would say it's at least something to think about. Again, just looking out for you. <3

AbigGRNboot > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 15:59

0

#7 - Beige

Mailbox Cancer > Jartosz 09/05/2013 at 15:59

0

That's pretty bad too. Stereotypes are always earned.

Mailbox Cancer > Atomic Buffalo 09/05/2013 at 16:00

1

Don't smoke, eat, drive, pass, park, or live angrily. And that's how you win in life.

Stradale > Mailbox Cancer 09/05/2013 at 16:00

0

Don't smoke, never have, was sick as a child so never found it appealing to make myself more sick. Just found it odd that people should not do stuff in their own vehicle.